“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.”- Eskimo Proverb
You may or may not know but my brother lost his dear mother in law and my sister in law lost her dear mother a few weeks ago. Our entire family took it hard. It was such a sudden and unexpected loss and it reminded me of how precious and temporary life is. I know many people who have experienced this great loss lately and for that I am so truly sorry.
Here is something that very few know about me. I don’t go to funerals very often even when it’s a close family member. I don’t sing at any funerals because I have a hard time with funerals altogether. I don’t attend funerals at all. Even if I drive by a cemetery and see a funeral happening I get very sad very quickly even without knowing whom it is that the funeral is for. I don’t deal with loss very well at all. I have never been back to my grandparent’s graves since they were buried. I get very attached to people in my life. I am also a very sentimental person. I always have been. I believe you can sense this from my music and my messages. It’s very important to me to live my life trying to honor those close to me who have passed as well as honor those who are living. I don’t like to remember seeing someone after they have passed away. I prefer to just remember them when they were alive. Some people ask me how I deal with not having that final goodbye. My answer is simple; I choose not to have a final goodbye. To me, as hard is it is, it is not goodbye. I want to feel like they are still here and that I just have not seen them in a while.
Many deal with loss in many different ways. I have been told that my messages and my music have helped to bring comfort to some who are dealing with tragedy and loss. I never expected this to happen but I am so honored and happy that I can help in someway. I wished there was more I could do to help comfort those in need. I have had some free time as I am in a slow season right now. I have done a whole lot of analyzing and looking at things in my life. I kind of started making a bucket list. I am going to say yes more often and try new things more often, even if I am uncomfortable.
I was talking to my friends and band members on the way home from our last trip. We were in a very deep discussion about life, directions, being happy, religion, politics, and all the worlds problems. One of them asked me some questions about when I was younger and what I pictured my life being like today. The whole band was surprised when I told them how well planned out my life was back then. I knew exactly what I was going to do, where I would be, who I would marry, how many kids I would have, and my life was designed completely. Not a single part of my plan happened the way I planned it. My life is completely different than I ever thought it would be and that is just fine with me. In many ways it is better than I ever hoped. Sometimes we just have to go with the flow. I can look back at the past with sadness and melancholy if I wanted. I can look at the future and make more plans that may or may not happen. Or I can learn to live in the now. I believe that the real joy is right now. My life is perfect just the way it is. I have the power to go and make it what I want it to be right now, not later. What have you always wanted to do and never got around to doing it? The time is right now. Have a great week.
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